kristin has been a bad kristin
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
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