thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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