I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
