Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
