the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
smell my finger.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Randomize
