we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
