wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
