Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
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