At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
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