I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
