you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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