Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
