similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
