laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
