fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
