I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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