just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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