can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
