STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
that's an acceptable place to lick
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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