We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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