I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Swine flu. Run for my life!
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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