I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize