How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
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