If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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