i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
