I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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