Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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