it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
