Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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