I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize