I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
