Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
