Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize