I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
