Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
