im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
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