people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
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