Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
sex in a hospital.. check
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I would ride that face into the sunset
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize