I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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