I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
