I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Kiss
Puke
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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