her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
