Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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