just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
