we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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