Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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