I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
