accomplished twins. life is a go
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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