it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
