Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
