I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
