dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Come on in and take your pants off
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