im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
