She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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