He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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