My room smells like vodka and shame
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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