Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
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