well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize