im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
