Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Holy sore nipples Batman
You ate ashes out of my bong
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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