awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Damn victory sex feels great
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