DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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