Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
