Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
