I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
