"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
