it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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