pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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